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My first video presentation about

REMEMBER ZIDANE ? This how other people see it !

Zinedine Zidane

• As seen by the Germans:

• As seen by the French:

• As seen by the Italians:

• As seen by the Americans:

• As reporteb by the press:

Funny Football Moments

Watch those, unbelievably funny !

I think they are good friendsNo obs....

Can't find it ???That is going to hurt...

The new Kung Fu moves

Ronaldo is having a babyball

LOL

what the.....

double headbutt

nice boots

hands up

ha ha

begin to drill

it's bad to hold your pee, so you did the right thing.

no comment on this one

here, let me help u..

a ball with human's body

i thought football was played by 11 players....

put your left feet backward.....good, you guys did it well!!

THIS IS SPARTAN!!!!!

if you can fall us down in one shot, we'll give you a souvenir.

kung fu kick

ass attack

ouchh..

his hand touches the ball, that's foul!!

if you dive again, i will tell your mommy!!

Big fight between 2 players, LOOK !

HAVE FUN !

THIS IS WRONG !

THIS IS WRONG ! (A bit funny)

THIS FUN !

You just have to ignore the gay referee , LOL

David Beckam caricatures

Have a laugh !

My Favourite Ronaldo caricatures

Great football quotes

To say that these men paid their shillings to watch twenty-two hirelings kick a ball is merely to say that a violin is wood and catgut, that Hamlet is so much paper and ink. ~J.B. Priestley, The Good Companions, 1928


If this can be termed the century of the common man, then soccer, of all sports, is surely his game.... In a world haunted by the hydrogen and napalm bomb, the football field is a place where sanity and hope are still left unmolested. ~Stanley Rous, 1952

Anthony Burgess

Five days shalt thou labour, as the Bible says. The seventh day is the Lord thy God's. The sixth day is for football. ~Anthony Burgess


Football is the opera of the people. ~Stafford Heginbotham, 1985


A sport where the players actually enjoy getting hit in the head by a ball. ~Soccer advertisement, published for the MetroStars Major League Soccer team, 1997


Concerning football playing, I protest to you it may rather be called a friendly kind of fighting, rather than recreation. ~Author Unknown


In Latin America the border between soccer and politics is vague. There is a long list of governments that have fallen or been overthrown after the defeat of the national team. ~Luis Suarez


If you're attacking, you don't get as tired as when you're chasing. ~Kyle Rote, Jr.


I get a kick out of soccer. ~Author Unknown


Football is all very well as a game for rough girls, but is hardly suitable for delicate boys. ~Oscar Wilde


Soccer is not about justice. It's a drama - and criminally wrong decisions against you are part and parcel of that. ~Pete Davies


Other countries have their history. Uruguay has its football. ~Ondino Viera


The roots of our Soccer Tribe lie deep in our primeval past. ~Desmond Morris


To the aesthete it is an art form, an athletic ballet. To the spiritually inclined it is a religion. ~Paul Gardner


The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does. ~Phil Woosnam, 1974


The Glaswegian definition of an atheist: a bloke who goes to a Rangers-Celtic match to watch the football. ~Sandy Strang


The goalkeeper is the jewel in the crown and getting at him should be almost impossible. It's the biggest sin in football to make him do any work. ~George Graham, 1997


The rest of the world loves soccer. Surely we must be missing something. Uh, isn't that what the Russians told us about communism? There's a good reason why you don't care about soccer - it's because you are an American and hating soccer is more American than mom's apple pie, driving a pick-up and spending Saturday afternoon channel-surfing with the remote control. ~Tom Weir


All that proves is that most of the world is too poor to build bowling alleys, golf courses, tennis courts and baseball fields. There's hundreds of millions of poor people out there who still ain't got indoor plumbing, but that don't mean there's something great about an outhouse. Soccer is boring. I've never seen a more boring sport. ~Mike Royko, 1994


I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back. ~Eric Morecambe


Why is there only one ball for 22 players? If you gave a ball to each of them, they'd stop fighting for it. ~Author Unknown


Whenever the ball flew toward our goal and a score seemed inevitable, Jesus reached his foot out and cleared the ball. ~Author unknown, from an article in Rio de Janeiro's Jornal dos Sports


Up to five goals is journalism. After that, it becomes statistics. ~Author Unknown

George-Orwell

I loathed the game, and since I could see no pleasure or usefulness in it, it was very difficult for me to show courage at it. Football, it seemed to me, is not really played for the pleasure of kicking a ball about, but is a species of fighting. ~George Orwell, Such, Such Were the Joys


Soccer is a game in which everyone does a lot of running around. Twenty-one guys stand around and one guy does a tap dance with the ball. ~Jim Murray, 1967


Some people say soccer's a matter of life or death, but it isn't. It's much more important than that. ~Variation of a famous saying

Funny Quotes

It was not hard to find inspiration for this hub, having trawled the net looking for something similar and finding it difficult to find many more than five or six funny soccer quotes in the same place. As a Portuguese man, 'Soccer' is of course 'Football' to me. Please note that to have a full appreciation of these quotes you probably need to understand the rules and format of soccer, and in some cases an understanding of Portuguese and British humour or culture, but I hope that this hub has at least something for everybody!

So here it is, the funniest soccer quotes found by me on the web.


"On another night, they'd have won 2-2." - Ron Atkinson (commenting on a Valencia-Liverpool Match)

"Zero-zero is a big score." - Ron Atkinson again

"Well, Clive, it's all about the two M's - movement and positioning." - Ron Atkinson once more!

"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw." - Yep, you guessed it, Ron Atkinson yet again!

"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought." - Bobby Robson

"We must have had 99 percent of the game. It was the other three percnet that cost us the match."- Ruud Gullit

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it -you can see it all over their faces." - Mr Ron Atkinson once more, the king of stupid quotes!

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." - A commentator with Metro Radio

"We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalized.”- Ian McNail

"I don't like to see players tossed off needlessly" - Andy Gray, neither do I Andy!

"The beauty of Cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath" - Former England Captain Terry Butcher

"When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1" - Lawrie McMenemy, Manager of Southampton FC

"And Farmer has now scored 19 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season" - Gary Lyon an Australian Commentator, finding multiplication difficult!

"Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win" - Thanks for clearing that up Vinny Jones!

"Is the Pope Catholic. No I'm serious, is he? I really need to know"- David Beckham.

"Diego Maradona - a flawed genius who has now become a genius who is flawed" - Bob Wilson

"Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose."- Kevin Keegan

"The ref was vertically 15 yards away.”- Kevin Keegan, considering a challenge for Big Ron's crown?

"Moreano thought that the full back was gonna come up behind and give him one really hard.”- Its slightly embarrassing for me to say, but its.... yep you've guessed it... Big Ron Atkinson again

"Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins." - Brian Moore

"I would not say he is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.” - I should have called this article "Ron Atkinson's stupidest quotes"

"I spent 90 percent of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted!" - The legendary George Best, RIP

"This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players"- Javier Clemente, suprisingly not an Englishman!

"The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23!” - Kevin Keegan!

"We lost because we didn't win"- Ronaldo

"Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side"- David Beckham after being asked if he is 'volatile', obviously thinking that this meant 'versatile'

Reporter:- "It looked like you were outplayed in certain area's of the field in today's game." Gordon Strachan:- "Yes, we were outplayed in certain parts of the field today, the big green area of it..."

"There's no in between you're either good or bad.. We were in between."- Gary Lineker

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league"- Mark Viduka, seemingly finding the concept of a league table hard to fathom!

"I'd like to play for an Italian club like Barcelona" - Former Southampton and Aston Villa midfielder Mark Draper

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough.'- Jonathan Woodgate

"The Italians are hoping for an Italian victory." - David Coleman

"Playing with wingers is more effective against European sides like Brazil than English sides like Wales." - Ron Greenwood

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing."- Terry Venables

"To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch" - Ruud Gullit

"An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal." - Dave Bassett

"If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal." - Jimmy Hill

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." - My favourite all time soccer quote, courtesy of the one and only Ron Atkinson!

What the F... is he looking for ? Eggs ?